I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
