He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
