PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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