Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
