the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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