i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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