I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize