You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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