if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
