i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
