perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
