This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
