I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
