he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
