all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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