you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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