Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
