Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
