Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
