Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
