you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
