Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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