I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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