Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
