Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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