I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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