Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
