plz talk dirty to me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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