I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
