There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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