I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
