So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
