idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
