How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
