Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
