Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
