Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
