There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
