Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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