Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There's even glitter on my cock...
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