what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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