I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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