NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
