You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize