I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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