I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
