VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
