I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I party with great urgency now.
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