love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
