If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
