They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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