Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
