What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
