i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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