News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
