Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
