even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
