what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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