You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
