If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
