8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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