Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
