I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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