You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What happened to fro yo and sex?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
