thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
